Getting men turned on is a fairly simple task. When you’re both totally ‘in the mood’ and you’re trying hard to please each other, nothing can go wrong, right?
Well, not exactly. Bringing a guy to his sweet release is much more simple and far less complicated (not to mention less time-consuming), than it is for a woman.
But ladies, guys are humans too and believe it or not, they have feelings and opinions! Just as you have likes and dislikes in bed, so does he. There are some things which could get him out the mood quicker than throwing a bucket of ice, cold water on him. Are you guilty of committing these mood-killing faux pas in bed?
Anything that is unrelated to what is going between you two at the moment or is not dirty in context does not belong in bed right then and there.
The day you had an office, how your frenemy is such a pig or if he’ll go with you to your friend’s wedding are the kind of conversations that can wait, and are better left off, until the deed is done.
You know how they say fake it till you make it? Never do that in bed. Female orgasm is complex and hard to reach. Women need a lot of foreplay, stimulation and extended action before they can reach climax.
When women pretend that they have had an orgasm it gives the guy the wrong idea of how the fictitious climax was reached and he will just keep repeating the same style over and over. Always be hone en he asks you if you have had an orgasm or not and tell him the truth.
Just because you weren’t able to reach climax doesn’t mean you cannot enjoy both intercourse and foreplay. Let him know that it was enjoyable but also guide him on how to help you get to a sweet release.
Even today, in this day and age, a lot of women and men believe that it is the man’s place to initiate everything. Somehow women have inhibitions about initiating sex and what message it would give to the guy.
Well, only one. That you really want to get with him and believe it or not, he’ll love it. Men like being wanted sexually just as women do. Men like it when you initiate. Men feel good about themselves when you initiate.
Do I look fat?
Trust us, when you are dressed in the flimsiest of lingerie, wrapped in a towel or just naked in front of him he is not going to care if you are not wearing your concealer, if your eyeliner is smudged or if you look fat. There is only one thing he is thinking about and none of these make it on that list.
Some women have a lot of underlying issues which stop them from emotionally connecting with their partner during sex even if there is a physical connection.
Believe it not, men are not shallow and can see that your heart and mind are not into it. Remember that intimacy can take you places where nothing else can.
If you do have connectivity issues, talk about them with your partner and work those issues out.
Don’t let it bore you
Good intercourse, orgasm or not, is never boring. If you feel that you and your partner are losing excitement and feel like just going through the ropes, then it is time to take control and switch things up a bit.
Intercourse is an important part of every relationship and boring sex can damage said relationship in a manner far worse than anyone might believe.
Don’t think he knows what you want
When a relationship is new, and even with many old ones, the guy won’t automatically know what makes you feel good. You will have to show and tell him. If you are not having an orgasm feel free to tell your guy what to do in order to help you get there.
Don’t be afraid of being bold and never think about what he might be thinking. Guys love challenges and more than that, they love when they can make their partner reach her climax.
Feel free to experiment yourself while showing him (that’s eye candy for guys) and guide him about intensity, pressure, a particular spot or a combination that works. Fireworks will happen!
Don’t reject him
Imagine you have a puppy who loves greeting you at the door every day when you come back home from work. He wants nothing more than your affection and to play catch with you. You’ve been away from him all day and he really missed you. This is how your guy feels, too.
He wants some affection and attention from you. But instead of playing catch, he has something else on his mind. Reach inside yourself and find the energy and motivation to respond to what he is asking for.
When you say yes when you are feeling like nah, he’ll reciprocate the gesture and always be available when you are in the mood for action.
A lot of women don’t do much during sex and just sort of lie down there while the guy shoulders the responsibility of doing everything. It can either be because of their own personal inhibitions or cultural norms.
It can also be because it doesn’t feel good and so they can’t wait for it to be over. If it doesn’t feel good then you need to communicate that with your partner and find positions, ways, moves, toys or try dirty talk. Anything that gets you near orgasm works.
If you are inhibited in the bedroom because of past experiences or because your culture looks down upon it then you are making a grave mistake.
Intercourse doesn’t just feel good on its own. You have to make it feel good. Moving around, using your hands, lips, moaning, and sighing will get you both going in the right direction.
Yes, please! Make sure you smell nice and are clean before you get down and dirty. Just like you won’t like it if your guy smells of a day’s sweat or has bad breath, he doesn’t want that either.
It isn’t only about taking a shower or brushing your teeth either. Whether you shave down there or not, keep it clean and tidy.
The volume setting
Some women are loud in bed while others are not and that is perfectly fine. Whether the entire neighborhood hears you two when you are in bed or it is just enough to each other’s ears is all great.
What is not great is complete silence. Sounds and words do as much for your guy as touching and seeing do. Moaning and sighing is a signal for the men that they are hitting all the right spots and when you do that, it will work him up as well.
Don’t be a damsel
Men don’t like it when you are shy in bed and impersonate a damsel in distress. Sure when a relationship is new and you are both getting comfortable with each other, shyness can come naturally.
But once you have been together for a while there is no reason for you to hesitate or think what he will think of you if you try something new or naughty.