Contrary to common beliefs, selfishness is equally prevalent in both men and women, especially in the bedroom. Men are commonly labeled as the more selfish of the species in bed. But that’s not entirely accurate.
Women too can be just as selfish. And the confusing thing about this ‘selfishness’ is that it’s not entirely born out of self-centeredness. We all have some problems in our relationships, and sometimes we come off as being selfish when in reality we’re just coping with our own biases and insecurities.
You always expect our partner to initiate
Have you ever gotten mad at a partner who was hesitant in initiating sex? Especially when you wanted it? If yes, then this is one of the most selfish acts in bed. And its roots go way deeper than we may think. Women are expected to be repressive about their desires since an overt want for affection can get them labeled with many names.
But some women use this as a tool to keep them away from vulnerable positions. They might be wanting the reigns in their hands that come with the one being in charge with that fateful “yes” or “no.” What women need to realize is that despite these motivations it’s never a wise idea to put the burden entirely on your partner’s shoulders. There are subtle ways to hint that you want sex, instead of just waiting it out and getting mad later.
You refuse to give up control
While some women are simply lazy, others know what they like, and hence they want to take charge all the time.
But the mistake they can make in this is disregarding their partner’s wishes. Again, that’s a sign of being extremely selfish.
You expect them to perform
It is a common problem among couples. It is how women behave selfishly during intercourse. Most women want their partners to stay hard for long, and stay hard for even longer. If you’re someone who’s had problems with the performance of your spouse, if you’ve ever complained about it, or if you’ve degraded them because of their performance then you’ve fallen into this category.
What women need to realize is that men and their penises aren’t machines. Sometimes the penises don’t cooperate, and that’s perfectly alright. It’s disappointing, yes, but nothing to be taken personally. It’s very selfish to expect godly performance from you partner, or just thinking they’ll always be in the mood for fooling around.
You expect to receive but rarely reciprocate
If you’re expecting your partner to do for you and to you, but aren’t willing to return the favor, then this one’s for you. If you’re only for receiving, but not giving, than you’re plain selfish.
Everyone has the right to set their boundaries in intimacy, but it’s never fair to want something you’re not ready to give back.
You don’t pay attention to your partner’s pleasure
Do you ever feel like you’re focusing on your pleasure only? Do you fail to think about your partner’s satisfaction?
If you don’t think about your partner’s experience, you’re selfish. Even when you just “being casual”, you should always make sure your partner is enjoying as well.
You don’t care if your partner is “done”
If you’re done after you orgasm and not care if you partner had orgasm or not, this one is you.
Although we understand that your partner’s orgasm isn’t your responsibility, it’s still something of a moral obligation that you help them get there.
You put a timeline on your partner’s body
If you ever get upset at your partner coming too early or taking longer than you expected, then you need to hold your horses sometimes. Some women are too specific about the time their partner comes.
But they need to realize that simultaneous orgasms rarely happen. They are complex and no one ought to dictate when their partner comes.
You’re not showing basic respect
As said earlier, it’s tricky to figure out if you’re selfish in bed, because you’re already under a lot of hormonal impulses. But one golden rule to know if you’re selfish is to apply the Golden Rule. Do you treat your partner like you want to be treated?
If any of these are true for you, it’s time you think things through, and be a bit more considerate towards your partner. It’s time you become more honest about your intentions and mend your ways.